For now.

I cannot give you your present now,
but just sit tight, and i'll figure out how,
I don't know what to get you,
but everything I give to you is true.
I'll surprise you out of the blue,
leaving you with nothing but "who?"
For now this is all I got,
just to remind you i did not forgot.

Distance is our new problem,
but time is our only solution.

Because the best things are worth waiting for.

Tonight.

Tonight is not like every night.
the stars shines brighter,
as the hugs get tighther.
the love gets warmer,
as the presents gets closer.
family, friends, and stranger,
all felling close with no danger.

Tonight is not like every night.
everyone shines in a new light.
smiles bright as the sun,
everyones heart starts to run.
love, excitement, and happiness,
all wrapped up in a bun.

Tonight is not like every night
sadness, worries, and problems
all are now out of sight.
caring and appreciation,
towering in an endless height.

Tonight is not like every night,
Tonight is amazing,
Tonight is unpredictable,
Tonight is wordless,
Tonight is breath taking,
Tonight is a keeper,
Tonight is not like every night,
Tonight, everything, every moment is right.

Because Love is everywhere in this room.

Every morning, its you, sunshine.

i wake up every morning and its you i think about
wondering what im dreaming but the thoughts just keep coming out.
my mind is still sleepy, my body still so weary,
but the thought of you seems to take away all my worries.

so i open my eyes, stare out my window, and looked at the skies,
gray clouds fill the heaven, but the morning had just begun.
the warmth of the sun still lingers on my skin,
thinking of the time in your heart you let me in.

i woke up this morning and its you i thought about,
knowing that your a wonderful work of art.
so i wrote you this song, i dont know how to sing though,
but i still cling on like a ring on your finger,
words engrave "never be apart" in our hearts.

i wake up every morning and its you i think about
wondering what im dreaming but the thoughts just keep coming out.
my mind is still sleepy, my body still so weary,
but the thought of you seems to take away all my worries.

i look to left, there you are still sleeping,
here i am wondering if your still dreaming,
dreaming of all the good times that we had,
hugging you tight, for all the times you were sad
telling you i will be here even through the days that are bad.

so you woke up this morning, telling me you were dreaming
about you and i sleeping, on the shores of forever more.
my mind is now awake, my body feeling no ache,
because your words just make me shake,
wishing we were sleeping on the shores of lake forever more.

i wake up every morning and its you i think about
wondering what im dreaming but the thoughts just keep coming out.
my mind is still sleepy, my body still so weary,
but the thought of you seems to take away all my worries.

Because I keep our journal close.

[Happy birthday my favorite bakla friend, mahal, bestfriend, rhio-tard, and my one and only Itlog] i love you too the fullest extent of my love meter bahahaha!

"Your my egg shell, always there to protect me from whatever harm that comes."

Its never what it seems.

The more I figure you out,
the more I understand myself.

Because your feelings is like a riddle.

Riddle me this.

Giving you enough hatred is the best I can offer so you can get over it quicker.
It's not the fact that I didn't take a second look at our friendship, but rather yet,
I took a different approach. Being there with you would only for long the pain.
So i took drastic measures like I always do and did I what I thought would benefit you most.

I've given us many chances you might not realize it but I did. And still do. In time, things would get better, and teh pain and hatred I once left you would nothing more than a faded memory.

Because my love for you is a riddle.

I can do it.

When optimism and pride works hand in hand,
you can forget anything and anyone.

Because all you need is a reason.

I love how you love me.

ps. its unbelievable.

Loved by You.

I look at you and I look at me,
And forever is what I see.
Being with you and staying true,
that's what time has for us to do.

I feel true comfort at your side,
Your the port where my heart is tied.
Everyday my love for you grows deeper,
Because in my heart I know your a keeper.

All those times we argued and fought,
I wrote you letters to make it all better.
In my mind your always the first thought,
And in my heart your love is what matter.

Feeling inspired for the love we desire,
You cause the spark of our eternal fire.
Our hearts tied by an unbreakable wire,
Together we share a love that never tire.

Loving you was never heard to do,
Butterflies always fly out fo the blue,
Feelig your love, I know its true
Because you say and show you love me too.

Because it was a random thought.

Feel better Mahal.

Here you are telling me your heading home,
And here I am asking why your all alone.
Your telling me your feel weak and sick,
So I go to a store wondering which medicine to pick.
Bring you medicine and soup with some lime,
I'll make my way there at any given time.
For you I'll put everything a side for later,
Just to be there and make you feel better.
We can spend teh whole day together,
Because you know you always matter,
So i'll fly there no matter the weather.
Day or night, rain or shine, cold or hot,
You know i'll always be the one you got.
Even if I'm miles away from where you are,
I hope these words will make you stronger
'Cuz you know my love for you is always there,
Nest to you whispering "I'll always be here."

Because it's my medicine for you.

Life as I live it.

"Life is just to tiring when you live for someone else and yourself, but the result of all the hardwork is life's true success and happiness."

- JoJo

Because I'll endure every pain to get you where you want to be.

Love.

Keep your head up kiddo and look up with a smile,
because God is always looking down on you looking
for that happiness inside you.

Because we both know we care.

I still have your scrungeey

Today I came to realize something that I never really saw clearly before...
Its the fact that God is always there when were happy. He's always the subject where were actually talking. Its in the fellowship/church where we actually talk [maybe because you kinda have to talk to me because you want to be nice since were at church] but who cares, I'll take those little minutes of time with you anytime. And besides God's the reason why we got close in the first place because you led me to him and showed me the fellowship that helped me get closer to him. I just wish that we give our friendship another try that we actually talk even though its not about God. Because I've always knew that you were one of the people that helped reach where I am now and I thank you for it. I actually do miss you because you always listened to me.

"Its like your on the the other side of the world and God is between us two, and the only time and reason we see each other is when we come close to God."

Because I heart DC.

It's been awhile.

" If dreams are the only place I cna be with you, then give me a bed and pillow and I'll sleep forever. "

Because I had dream about you again.

Riddle me that.

Lets start over.

Because a fresh start is good.

Feeling at home much?

Well I don't feel like writing a poem today, so heres just plain writing.
Today I planned to go jog to Josh house from my cousins but i felt all lazy and what not. So I woke up at 7 am, cuz i asked her to wake me up so i can "jog" but i ended up jsut going back to sleep. woke up around 11 am went straight to the shower. I told my cousin I was going to leave, and she was all cool about it. Went to Josh house to get some clothes, but I didnt bring them with me. Cooked some big O steaks for breakfast/lunch then I got a text msg.

Her, "My grandma wants you to come over. She says she needs help on something."
Me "wtf? what?"
Her "My grandma wants you to come over she needs help."
Me "Help? on what?"
Her "wait let me go ask."
Me " okie."

couple minutes later....

Her "She needs help cleaning the turtle tank. ahahaha"
Me "wtf? why me? i don't even live there x]"
Her " I dont know. she just asked."
Me "okie, after I eat."
Her "ohh okay, ohh and I want to paint my room."
Me "yeah sure. I'll help you."

note [I didn't know she was serious about the room painting thingy.]

So i went to her house around2 but she wasnt home so instead I went to true valley and met up with her where she was pinking out paint. Ohh btw, thanks josh for the dollar, unfortunately I left mine at your house, so that dollar is yours :] anyways, I met up with her and she tells me that we were gonna paint her room -.- shet, sooo much work ahahaha

We got to her house and her grandma ask me for help, so yeah I ended up cleaning the turtle and the turtles tank. Freaking turtle was biting and scratching everywhere!!! first her dog bites me then her turtle scratch me with long and sharp nails. seriously, none of her pet likes me ahahaha afterwards it was off to her room. I had to move a whole dresser, move two beds, and a bunch of boxes. I put plastic on the carpet and painted away! Took about an hour or two to paint 2 giant walls! since she was just sitting down and I was painting -.- seriously, she a lazy bum. After we finished paint, her whole family wanted to go bowling. so we spent about 30 minutes looking for their bowling bowls and bowling shoes, cuz apparently, they like bowling so they have their own stuff x] after we raided her garage looking for the bowling balls, we went to this bowling alley at west covina, and yeah, I freaking lost -.- after that we order pizza and eat dinner :] then her uncle dropped me off to my cousins. Over all it was tiring but a fun tiring day :]

Because I do chores at your house.

A candle.

I'll light a candle for you,
tonight I'll make sure that I do.
It's been a year now,
but I still feel the sorrow,
with you being gone,
I try to act so strong.
Everytime I go to the house,
it's you that I look for,
missing your touch and scent,
but i know I'll never feel so distant,
I know your in a better place now,
but I still can't believe how?
How can you be gone?
Everynight I pray that your not alone,
and I pray that you watch over us,
So tonight is the night,
I'll light a candle in the night,
knowing that you will shine bright,
even in the darkest night.
I miss your smiles and hugs,
and the way I held your hand and bless,
and the way your fix all of out mess.
I know I wasnt there for you,
through the times in the hospital,
I just couldn't see you looking so fatal.
So tonight I'll light a candle for you,
and I want you to know,
that my love for you will always be true.

Because I am sorry, but I know you have forgiven me.

another day.

Today started lazy,
just like any other day,
everything is going everywhere,
and im standing in the middle,
looking for the right way.
As I stand there feeling idle,
the world keeps moving,
even if I'm just standing.
I stare at the clock,
feeling like everything is out of stock,
I choose a random path,
hoping to be in the right place,
I found myself in a chair,
papers on the desk and a pencil on my hand,
i sat adn thought,
thinking for answers for this test,
feeling impatient cuz I want to stand,
stand and walk to a place to rest,
and my only thought was laying on your chest,
listening to your heartbeat,
as I end this lazy day,
wishing that I could stay.

Because this is how my day was.

Emileen :]

So i was on aim today right,
and I randomly IMed emileen
and we had a deep conversation.
I like how she starts off with

"So I hear evelyn and angela hates you,
wanna tell me why?"

so yeah we talked and I explained everything to her,
and the weird part is, she actually understood me.
I asked her why she didn't think I was an asshole,
and she said,

"because it wasn't your fault."

then I told her that what i did made me look like an Ahole,
but she said that I didnt do it intentionally, so I shouldn't blame myself :]

ohh and then we got to talk about family stuff,
and we shared opinions and yeah, fun stuff :]

today was chill.

I love these random conversations that have good outcomes.

Because it was random.

People secretly miss me.

So, I'm back in Los Angeles :]
and im chilling at my aunts house and everyone keeeps telling me
"OMG! your still alive!"
yeah i think i get that they miss me. they just dont want to say it
ahahahaha their so cute.
anyways, im going abck to walnut tommaraw,
cuz apparently, some FAG, yes justine you fag, wants to see me :]
but i have to go to mt. sac first.

ohh and hte book i borrowed from james, that he borrowed from april,
is funny! ima finish it tonight.

Because it's been awhile.

A strand.

She fell down defeated,
anywhere she looked,
only reminded her of how she was hooked,
so she got up and stood tall,
only thinking of ways to make him fall.
but only found herself on the floor,
facing the ground,
listening to the hopeless sound,
but there in her heart she found,
the last love in a form of a strand,
tied to her heart and soul,
with him in the other end,
offering his hand,
just to help her stand,
with everything together
all tied up in one strand.

Because she kept pushing away.