I hate you too :]

Well, I don't know if you really like annoying me on purpose, or you're really just annoying >:]

Hehehe just kidding. Well, I'm bored and I don't know what to do so I'm just gonna write something random here.

I remember I asked you about your journal topic and you that it was about you having to write about yourself, no specific topic, just anything you wanted to write about yourself, so this letter here I guess, will not be about yourself :P I don't know what this is going to be about but just shut up and read, okie? :]

First of all, I just wanted to say that I love you. I know it is too soon, and things are going by so fast for the both of us but I guess this is how it is when you don;t try to control your feelings. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything that I've done in the past few weeks. I know it hasn't been easy for the both of us, but trust me, I'm trying. I'm my hardest to make us work, to make us happy, even if it means I have to swallow my pride every single time we get into an argument. I'm not used to losing arguments specially when it comes to relationships, so I apologize for always trying to manipulate things into benefiting me. I know it is unfair for you but sometimes, you need to learn the hard way. It's not always easy for me to show you your mistakes, I know we're not perfect, but if we don't address our problems sooner, it'll just escalade into something that can ruin us big time, and I don't ever want that to happen to us. Look, I know we've had several disagreements in the past few weeks, but we always got through them. We've broken promises left and right, we've under appreciated each other's efforts, we've said hurtful things to each other, we've made selfish decisions, and worst of all, we've made each other cry even if one of them was on purpose. But even through all these problems, we always fix things before we go to sleep. I think that's our strong point. We can't end a day without us being happy with each other. We can't go to bed mad at each other, which I think, personally, is one of the few things that makes this relationship work. I think that there are a lot of misunderstandings in this relationship, which is normal because we are still getting to know each other and we are still making adjustment in order to please on another. I don't want you to think that for the rest of our relationship, we're always gonna be arguing or fighting. Because trust me, I would much rather be happy with you than argue with you. So, that's me apologizing for reacting in a irrational way towards certain things that shouldn't even be a big deal.

I just want you to know how thankful I am to have you in my life, Honestly, you bring out the best in me. I've notice several things in my life that's change for the better. I'll give you the examples later on when we're talking person. But for now, all i can tell you is that, I am no longer the guy I used to be back when I was in relationships with other girls. I guess this is me saying that I am really serious about us. I mean, honestly, we have everything that I've been looking for in a relationship. We don't have to keep it a secret from your family, which I'm still really glad so that I don't have to hide anything from your parents when I spend time with them. I get along so well with your friends. They are very welcoming when it comes to me which I guess made me like our relationship even more. The whole near-distance relationship is something new for me, which Im still trying to get used to because I'm not used to seeing the girl I like everyday. Lols. Hopefully I don't get bored of you easily >:P just keeding :] Well, like I said a thousand times to you, thank you. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I know it's not easy for you to be with me but, thank you for sticking around and still trying up to now. Thank you for introducing me to your wonderful friends who cares deeply for the both of us. Thank you for taking the time to go out of the way jus to see me, sometimes when you're not lazy :P Thank you for all the times you fed me breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even though you really suck at cooking >:P Lols. Just keeeeding :] And Thank you for making me happy. I haven't been this happy in so long until you gave me chance. For some reason, I'm happiest when I'm next to you. If I had the choice, I'd be with you all the time, and you know that. But I think we both need to have a life outside our relationship, it's the only way for us to never get bored with one another. So, please, please, please, please, understand, just because I'm busy doesn't mean I don't love you. I'm always gonna be thinking about you at the beginning of the day and at the end of the night. You're always gonna be on my mind, even if I'm busy. Life will always find a way to remind me of you, that's what's great about it. I can never get the chance to forget about you. :]

So yeah, one more thing. I know we're having trust issues at the moment and I'd like to fix that. So remind me next time we see each other to discuss that. Someone once told me that, "You lose love, but never trust." I think that this makes sense because you can't love someone you don't trust. I'm sorry if I seem rather distrustful at times, but believe me when I say that I trust you :] I see how much this relationship means to you and how you wouldn't do anything to sabotage it. And I am thankful to have someone who cares so much about me. There's so many things I want to say here, but I don't think I'll ever be finished in time for you to read this, so I'll stop here.

Thank you for giving the chance to show you and myself that I can love someone unconditionally. It's the best thing I've done so far in ay relationship I've been in. So I am very lucky to have you. Thank you for being in my life and continuing to stay. :] <3

"If you really love her, like really really love her, then making sacrifices shouldn't be hard, it should be the easiest thing in your life because if you really love her, like really really love her, then you should be able to do anything for her, because that's what love is, having the ability to make compromises for one another in order for the two to be happy as one."

Oh, and wag na wag mo akong gagaguhin dahil alam ko kung san ka nakatira at kung san ka nagaaral. tatambakan kita ng hugasin mo letse ka :] <3

- Ryanne

1/29/2012.

It's the Idea.

It’s like you come up with this idea. An idea that is so amazing that you can’t stop thinking about it. You keep thinking about it so much, you realize you’re in love with this idea you created. So you try to make this idea into something more real, and to do that you need to apply this idea into the real world. So you try and try and try to make it real and finally, you do. You managed to turn this idea into reality. You live this idea, thinking that nothing can possibly go wrong because in your head this idea was so perfect, even a slight fault did not exist with it. You start thinking that you’re in love with this reality you have created for yourself only to watch it crumble into tiny little pieces of what you expected it to be. That’s when you realize that your biggest mistake is turning that idea into reality, assuming that everything would be perfect because in your head that idea was the most perfect thing that ever existed in this world. And finally, after realizing that this reality you set out for yourself was not the same as your idea, you begin to hurt people around you. You begin to hurt yourself for being so foolish. And in the end, after everything you expected to achieve, the only thing that was truly real was the fact that it wasn’t reality you were so in love with, nor was it the idea you thought of. But it was the idea of turning your idea into reality that you were so in love with.

You won’t realize the true potential of an Idea if you never set it out to be real.

With every word.

Just another night.

We all talk of happiness as something we all want in life. But most of the time, when happiness is near our grasps, we bitch out and pull our hands back out of reach. We simply don’t take the chance to grab hold of that happiness because we are so frightened of what could happen if we reach for it. Well, the dumbest thing we can ever do in life is probably pull away from something we really want. I mean, think about. We spend most of our time complaining how life sucks, how life is a bitch then you die, or how life is so unfair, but truth is, we bring all these shitty feelings upon ourselves. We keep blaming life for everything that’s wrong with our life, but in the end, it’s only us to blame. And one of the main reasons we feel shitty is because of our fear to grab hold of what can truly make us happy. I mean, yeah, some people are brave enough to chase after what makes them happy even if they make a fool of themselves but others stay back like cowards, hiding from what can bring them that sunshine in their dark, cloudy life. I envy those who chase after their dreams, their bliss, their happiness. Those people are the reason why others try to continue on with their shitty life, hoping that one day they can muster up enough courage to chase after their own happiness. And what I’ve learn these past few weeks is that, When you want something, grab it. Reach for it. Go after it even if it means to make a fool of yourself. Even if you’ll have to swallow all your pride along the way, you go after it. Because in the end, the only thing you can really hold on to is what makes you happy.

Happiness is something that God himself wants us to take.

With every word,