I slip into my mind,
I face your problems in my dreams,
In my nightmares, I place my problems,
In reality I carry our problems,

Every where I look,
I hear the cries in your eyes,
Every where I go,
I feel overwhelmed,
always wishing to be in another rhelm.

In my dreams I fall,
endlessly into a dark hole,
only to face the great wall,
separating my dreams from reality,


Because its not finished.

Blessings.

I wonder, every night,
before I close my eyes and fall into my dreams and nightmares,
I wonder and wander,
in my mind, looking for answers I cannot find,
looking for questions I cannot see,
but only find myself praying,
for things I cannot believe can be given to me.


Because it's a complicated thing at the moment.

Two years and counting.

There are times that we don't get to talk,
Times that I just look at the moon and start to walk.
Thinking of that times you cared,
Remembering the feelings taht we shared.

But all I got now is a broken relationship,
Broken by time and loneliness,
And all I want to do is find a way to repair this mess.
Repair it all, even when I feel all alone
and all hope seems to be gone.

Because I know there will always be a solution,
A solution to all this complications.
As long as I hold tight to my promise,
No matter how much I reminisce,
The promise to you I will return,
In two years and counting,
at your side I'll be standing,
In two tears and counting...

In the two years thats coming,
All the things that I've been thinking,
holding your hand,while listening to your sound.
Embracing you tighther, as I lay on your shoulder,
As I listen to your heart,
Feeling all the love in this world,
Finally in the palm of my hands,
The true meaning of love,
stands closely in my arms.

Because its your Birthday present.

I miss you.

So,

I missed talking to you. You always did know how to make me smile, even the simplest words, make such a extraordinary effect on my day. Having you next to me always make me forget about my worries. Even though we hardly talk now, I never forget those times you made me smile with your corny jokes and random sweet talk that you won't even notice that it was sweet until you actually think about it. I miss those times we would text each other even though we were like 10 steps away from each other, just because you just don't want to get up and say hi to me. :P I miss those times when you would leave and i would tell you "wow, your leaving me again.." and then you'd stay for a bit just because I asked you too. I miss those times where you would simply ignore me, but deep down you really want to talk to me. I understand why you did those things, but who cares, in the end, we both had smiles on our faces. All I'm saying is that, no matter how far the distance may be, I'll always remember those memories we had. And I'm thankful, that I have someone like you in my life.

I miss you quite terribly.

1-2-3 Pass!

Hello there :]

So last night was really fun.

Okie I dont know how it started but first we were playing UNO! with regular cards.

Players:

Me, Allen, Paolo, Darren, Alyssa, and Camille.

it was pretty fun cuz we had a weird random consequence hahaha. if you lose, you have to describe how you poo HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! how disturbing. So Darren lost as usual -.- but he didn't describe how he pooped cuz he was embarrased hahaha what a kill joy :P

Anyways after the game I went to go Rice hunting!!! because there wasn't any rice at home and I was too lazy to cook so i went to my friends house Cheloy and got some rice :D there was much but they did had some soup so I took some of that too and added it to my meal. After I got the rice and soup I went outside and tehre it was!!!

Lipstick! Cards! and People yelling
"Were playing 1-2-3 Pass! losers get marked with lipstick!!!"

I couldnt resist so I played every time the game ends I end up takinga Dinner break and start eating my food :D So couple games passed and couple people got lipsticks on their faces!!!

except Alyssa and I :D were good :D

So I ran out of rice again.. so I went to my cousins house.
(well were really far away cousins but were cool like that :] )

so I got some rice again ate and finally finished my food :]

so the game went on and on and on!!!

As we played along we ended up cheating... not cheating realy more leike we had aprtners :]
alyssa nd paolo were helping eahc other out camille and I were tag team adn darren adn allenw ere losing hahahaha

Paolo kept losing but he cheats!! he tries to sneak his han dinto the pile so he wont be marked with lipstick!!! but he still lost.

the game was really fun until camille was called to go home and she took the lipstick with her -.-

here are the results after th game!


from the loser to the winner!

Darren = he looked liked he got raped by 10 horses!!
* he had his ex's name on his face, he had a mustache made out of lipstick and an eye liner and eye shadow and he had a harry potter scar connecting his eyebrows xD *

Paolo = he looked like he got kicked in the face by a horse! hahahaa
* he had a red dot on his nose a unibrow it looked liek his mouth was stiched up by lipstick and he had those chinese make ups that makes their eye more chikier and his side burns connected iwht his eye brows

Camille = she looked like well liek a clown?
*She had the red dot on her nose, a gotee a connect the dots on her cheeks and she had two lines going down both of her eyes xD

Allen = He looked retarded and looked as if he has a scar from his nose connecting to his upper lip and lower lip and forms a V sahped scar conecting to his cheeks and he had a scar going down his left eye and a random C on his cheeck and also a red dot on his nose! :D

Alyssa!!! = She looked like a crazy chick who got in a fight with a lipstick xD
* She had the two scar going down her eyes a mustaches xD and a scar from ehr nose to her upperlip and an eyeliner connecting to her side burns? xD

Me! = I looked like a retard who palyed with a lipstick xD
* i had a unibrow two scars going down my eyes, eyeborwns connecting to my side burns :D


haha i think i won cuz i had the least lipstick on ym face :P

overall taht night was fun!! it would have been better if there was more people xD

next time were using coal instead of lipstick xD

My Mind.

I always had this thought, it's that thought where I believe that the world doesn't exist. Only I do. Don't get it wrong, I'm not being conceited, it's just this thought it my head that keeps telling my mind,

"Once I die, the world dies with me."

There's this thought, in my mind, that tells me that my life is important. It has a meaning and a purpose. It's far greater than anyone else's life. My mind tells me that I matter more than others, that without my life, the world is nothing. But for some reason, even though my mind tells me such things, I was never afraid to sacrifice my life for someone I love and care about. Even though my mind tells me without me, the world is nothing but a dead space, I am not afraid to die.

I start to realize why my mind think of such things. I realize that I do matter, my life is as important as others, maybe to other peoples eyes, my life is just another wasted blessing, but through my eyes, my life is valued and important. But, I finally understand why my mind thinks of such things,

"Once I die, the world dies with me."

it's because once I die, the world stops to exist through my eyes. And another world forms, a world of unknown.

Because the ocean made me realize how small I am in this world. But showed me how important I am.

Good news?

So! I won't be coming back to the United States of America until the 29th of April xD

and and and, I don't know how I'm gonna catch up with all my studies -.- ima be gone for at least 6 weeks? or more?

oh oh oh I've haven't been drinking for the past 4 nights :D

Itlog much?

I never thought I'd miss you this much,
never thought I'd be thinking of you.
Day and night, sunrise to sunset,
Your smiles are just hard to forget.

I don't get to talk to you
I still can't believe its true.
Always feeling blue,
because I'm so far away from you.

Every night I wonder,
as i stare at the stars,
under the mango tree,
it's you i want to see.

I try to connect the stars,
a constellation of where you are,
but only realize,
your so close,
always there where ever I go,
always in my heart.

Because I miss you so much :]
and I don't get to text you and hear your voice :/

Drunk.

One word.

Drunk.

sat down with the fellahs and drank a liter of matador :]

Last night.

Last night was chill!

So I was hungry last night and didnt feel like eating at home so I went to my friends house and ate there instead :D they had some bomb ass filipino food hahaha. So i went over to my friends house (Maki) and ate two full plate of rice and Kare-kare :] got full, said hi to Mommy Dolli and chilled outside where Maki and I just started catching up on the things I missed.

Later on this little kid named Marvic steals a ball from another little kids house named Ivan and started runningwith the ball cuz someone said "RUn marvic RUN!!!" ahem* JoJo... hahaha well the maid came out (Ivan's maid) and started telling me it was my fault marvic started running -.- so I chased marvic and try to get the ball but he ended wanting to have a fight with me for the ball so I just left and told the maid i'll get the ball later :D

Couple minutes later another friend came by, Allen. We started talking and talking and talking just catching up with what I missed in my hometown, then we decided were just gonna drink hahaha Allen left to go eat and Maki and I just went to get he ball. We got the ball and retured it and waited for Allen so we can start drinking :]

Allen comes out and Paulo starts to walk tow ards Maki and I. I told Allen to get water so and I'll get alcohol (Lambanog) and a shot glass :]

We all met up at the table and started the rotation. We started talking about why the group were all separated and that I want to have at least one hangout with everyone in it. And I think tonight were all gonna hangout :D not sure though. But we planned to go to church early on sunday like around 9:30am and probably eat out after that not sure. We kept drinking talk about what guys usually talk about when they drink, BASKETBALL!! :D joke. we just kept catching up with the thigns I missed. so far, I missed a lot. Three years was a long time. We kept drinking trying to finish the little alcohol we had xD it wasnt enough but it was just good enough for a good drunk :] After a while, Mark aka Mako passed by and we made him take a shot hahaha and he said no cuz he had work at 7 in the morning hahaha then he ended up taking more shots xD were soooo bad muahahahaha after that we finished the bottle and just chilled by the mangoe tree, the usually kicking spot. :]

(to be continued)

Kuya.

May God be by your side Kuya Marvin...

"Miss them... but not so much...Learn to let them go."

"Life is the most valuable thing we have. It was given to us for free. Yet we keep on saying things is unfair when things doesnt go our way. But we have to learn in life that everything that begins eventually will end. The word forever doesnt have a meaning. The word Never doesnt exist. Because no matter how much we say we would never do something... eventually we will. Life isnt based on how long we live... but its based on how fun our life has been. How much friends we made. How much memories we cherish. The hardest thing in life is letting go of the ones we love. Letting go doesnt really mean forgetting about them... but meaning that we have to accept the fact that they are gone. And accept that all we have now are the memories we shared with that person. Shed every tear we have, let our eyes turn red and dry. Think back to the memories we shared. The times we had fun. The times we fought. and the times we Laughed our asses off. We cant always hold on to someone forever. We'll have to let that person go and be set free. But we'll always have the memories we shared with that person. They'll always be in our heart no matter where they go. No matter what happens. They have been a part of our life. In the end all we can do is raise our heads high and smile and hope that person is happy where ever they are. And pray to God to take care of them." - JoJo

Because I wrote this a long time ago...

What I was missing...

So.. It's weird. I've never really knew that I miss this place soooo much. I almost forgot what it felt like being here and always smiling and having fun even though life was so hard. I trully missed this place.

Well, let's keep Jellyoo updated. I landed here on Wednesday not sure what the date was xD i dont even know what date it is here all i know its Monday here muahahaha.
well first of all I thank God for answering my prayers and letting me see my old man again and let him see me again :] that was really something i prayed for every night before I sleep. Well i've been spending time in the hospital taking care of my old man and just seeing him smile everytime made me realize how much God has blessed me.

Well lately I've been drinking since I got here -.- its like a non=stop trend here. But its fun cuz i never really drank with my old friends. and its way funnier cuz these people know how to have a good time. hahahaha

I went swimming with my friends and got drunk there again. everytime we got cold we take shots to keep us warm ahahaha such iodiots we are xD but its fun swimming while your drunk and sleepy hahaha theres a chance of you just falling asleep in teh pool and probably drown all cuz of stupidity xD and my friend (not gonna say her name here) fell trying to go down a ledge xD hahaha that was a good night :]

Last night I was drunk again. only cuz i was drinking with two people i havent drank with in a looooong time. I feel like my stomach will get all fat and full of alcohol when i leave this place hahaha
well drinking is not the only thing i do here :] i miss playing basket ball here its really fun.

overall I miss being here just kicking it with everyone having a good time not worrying about any problems at all. It feels like you have no problems bringing i have no problems at all when I'm here xD its an amazing feeling. Eveytime i look at the moon and the stars from here, I know its not the same over there in the states. I know all of this will come to an end eventually that is why im trying my best to live it up here and make it as memorable as possible :]

this place, was the thing i've been missing for so long.


ohhh and I miss Rhio :D

Because Tito Jojo said "Once you live here, you can never forget this place."

Just cause.

There's more to life than just worrying about life itself.

I smile, You smile, We both smile.

To Rhio, for always being there.

Here I am sitting in a car,
wondering where you are.
I look towards the sky,
Trying to figure out why,
You always make me smile.
I stand outside a bar,
looking for a shooting a star.
But here you are,
so close but yet so far.
Leaving me with a smile.
This girl that shows me love,
that everyone would wish to have.

Because her Jojo love meter was half empty. (now its full :D)

I needed to smile.

hope this makes you smile.
:D

Cause I sit on my roof and
I count up all the stars
From where I am, to
Exactly where you are
And every night finds
Me looking at the sky
Always thinking about
This boy that makes me smile

Because Rhio wrote this.

Regret from my reminiscence.

Do you remember those times we hug?
Those times we kissed and loved.
How about the late night discussion,
that soon became our addiction.

Do you remember my embrace?
The times when you kissed my face.
Telling yourself its just another phase.
That will soon pass our face.

You sang. You dance.
And made me glance,
To your beauty and melody,
I fell for truly.

Our hearts beats as one.
But I never thought the end has already begun.

We joke. We laugh.
Pretending as if it wasn't tough.
Trying everything to make us one.
But tragedy has already won.

We argued. We fought. We cried.
But our love was to intertwined.
To tangled to be loosen,
But the love was almost broken.

There we lay, each night on the phone.
Not saying one word, for we have lost our tone.
You say "I miss you."
And say "Goodnight."
And give me my last kiss of the night.

You wait for my response,
Hoping I didn't forget.
I found the words to say,
But instead I said something I now regret.

There you cried.
Thinking through all my lies.
Telling me I'm just another guy,
with no heart and no love.
Then you say your final goodbye,
And hang the phone leaving me all alone.

I lay on my bed in darkest night.
Your love finally out of sight.
Then I close my eyes; until I wept.
For all the days, with you I should have kept.

Because you watched George Lopez every night on the phone.

Inspired by an egg.

He walks in the middle of the road,
Feeling nonchalant about the world.
He sees a painter with no paint, a canvas of emptiness.
Imaginations of black and white.

He looks up at the sky,
and found a lonely kite with no strings attached.
He looks for a boy that held up the kite,
but only saw a child with no food and health.
that hungers for death.

He sees a police car park in front of a store,
and saw who's at fault in this heinous core.
The police who served protection,
only causes more destruction.
Selling drugs to the teenage mugs.

He sees a teacher with no students.
An artist with no art.
A singer with no voice.
A musician with no music.

He looks towards heaven,
only saw a world full of raven.
And there he lies, in the middle of the road,
paralyze to the rest of the world,
and says "Here lies a world, with no dream, with no hope, with no God."

Because Rhio called "First Read."

April.

All the memories left behind,
Memories of different kinds.
You wish to stay but only forced to go away.
You fought with your heart and lost in the end.

You cry each night that pass,
Each tear for a different past.
Your afraid to leave,
and starting not to believe.

Life is moving too fast,
to fast for your eyes to follow,
so you stop your thoughts,
and tears began to flow.

You sit and mope,
and act as if your on dope.
Your friends start to worry,
and you give them different story.

I wasn't there for you,
for I believe you were strong,
strong enough to overcome this on your own.
so please, put a smile on and throw that frown.

But I just wanted you to know,
No matter where you go,
No matter where you are,
No matter how far,
you will always be in the same place,
in the middle of my heart.


Because I can be the bad friend.

Chances. (A story in progress)

Chapter 1: The Hangover.

It was about eleven in the morning when I woke up from my sleep. I had a weird dream about the day I first met her. It's been a while since our first encounter but I'm still hoping that I would meet her again. I got up and went to the restroom to release my loads of liquid. When I got out of the rest room I started feeling dizzy, and there it was, the hangover kicking in.

I quickly grabbed on the handle of the restroom door and slowly got up to regain my balance. I see my brother in the computer room with other friend. I walk slowly, still feeling dizzy and now I have a massive head ache. I stumble across the hallway over to my brother and friend. Still not sure which of my friend was with my brother because of the hangover.

I felt sicker than a person who's going through kimo. My brother laughs at me when I fall to the ground then hurries to my aid. He helps me up, puts my arm over his shoulder and guides me to a chair. I realize it was Eric who was with my brother chilling in the computer room.

"Hey Josh!" someone yells out my brothers name.

I turned around to look and it was Ben, telling Josh to clean up in the garage where the party was held. I tried to get up but ended up just falling back on the chair. Eric started laughing at me telling me how much I drank last night. I started to remember how the party was going before I passed out on the couch. I remember dancing around with a beer on my hand yelling "PARTY! PARTY!" looking like a complete jackass. Well i guess you never really know what you would do after a few shots of vodka, tequila, and couple bottles of beer.

Eric in the other hand didn't really drink much. I doubt he would even be able to get off his bed if he drank as much as I did. He has long hair, skinny and tall but don't let that fool you. He has muscles underneath his skinny body. He always wears a beanie looking like a stoner, not that he isn't one. He hands me a glass of water and tells me that I need to drink some liquids. I told him it would be better if he made me some coffee instead.

Ben and Josh walks in the computer room and started playing music. I told them to lower it down because it felt like someones digging in my skull. Ben is Eric's brother. Unlike Eric, Ben is more muscular and has longer hair. He wears glasses and always walks as if he's the coolest kid on the block. My brother, Josh, is really not that much muscular compared to the Gonzales brothers (Eric and Ben). He's a little bit more squishy and chubby. He's an average height about 5'6 or 5'7. He always wear his jacket and zips it up 3/4 of the way. He has a simple black colored hair that's shaped like a mohawk.

I looked around the room and no one seems to be feeling the same way as me. Everyone looks fine as if they didn't even party last night. I felt like a retard when i realized I'm the only one who suffered the "Hangover." Eric hands me my coffee this time. It was freaking hot and burned my tongue when i took a sip. It was black and bitter just the way it should be when someone has a hangover. Well at least that's how I want it.

I started feeling better after couple minutes. I had breakfast and drank some Tylenol for my headache. After we ate, we headed back to the computer room where we sat down and had some discussion. Josh tells me that I have to go pick up his little girlfriend since he had to go home and check in with our mom. They're not officially together yet becase Josh is to much ofa coward to ask her out adn make a move, but I like to tease him and call her his little girlfriend. The Gonzales brothers finished cleaning up the garage and told us that we can leave since there's no more cleaning to do. We said our goodbyes headed down the hill where the bus stop rests. My brother had to take a different bus to go home and I have to take another bus heading to his little girlfriends house. His bus came first and he goes on and waves a hand to me and sits next to an old man who stared at im as he was some kind of alien.

there I sit and wait by myself in the bus stop for someone else benefit. Not knowing that this would actually lead me to something wonderful.

Inevitable.

I always wondered why people fear the invetible. Why are people afraid of the invetitable death? When we know that something is inevitable, isn't it better to prepare for it and enjoy what we have before the inevitable thing happens rather than living our life in fear for the inevitable? I for myself, can say that I have accepted that death is always just around the corner, waiting for us to reach that corner and fall. However, I believe that death is something that shouldn't be looked at and fear. I believe that death should be a motivation for us to live our life as if there is no tommorrow. I wonder, do people fear death because they believe that after death there is nothing. That we are just a pile of old bones who has no memory if our past life? Do we fear death because we're afraid of leaving our love ones? Or do we fear death because we are not ready to accept that we cannot continue living? I have never seen anyone who has accepted death when he/she was faced by death itself. I have never met anyone who has said that they were ready to die when they were struck by a deadly disease. I believe that people who can say that they are ready to die, have lived a wonderful, exciting, and fun-filled life. People who are not ready to die arethe people who have not achieve true happiness.

So why do we fear the inevitable when we know that its bound to happen?
We fear the inevitable because we give in to our hearts and hope that maybe one day death may never come and ignore our brains who knows that death is bound to happen.