Take Hint.

I guess I may have over reacted, but I have every reason to. Honestly, I've never been this patient with a woman before. I've never tried this hard for any woman in my life before. I've always had my ways when it came to relationships. I had control. I manipulated everything into favoring me and benefiting me the most. But when it came to us, I was shit. I was weak and stupid. It took me a while to realize that. I mean, I allowed myself to fall, to lower my guard down, to try something different, to step out of my comfort zone. And I guess after I showed you that, you somewhat took advantage of it. Who wouldn't? I mean, I used to that with every girl I went out with. I took advantage of their vulnerability. I guess this is me saying that I finally, finally truly understood how they all felt when I took advantage of their vulnerability. So last night, I was annoyed. Actually no, I was mad. But I'm good at hiding things. I didn't want to cause a scene and ruin everyone's night. But I guess you just pushed me to my limit. I've been patient with your sorry(s), your it's my fault, and your I won't do it again kind of stuff. I believe in your empty words and broken promises for quite a while until I couldn't take it anymore.

I mean, seriously. I don't mean to rub this on your face, but, I do so much for you, your friends, and our relationship. I always handled everything, fixed everything, and took care of everything. When your friends had problems, I was there. I was there to take care of them because I know how much they mean to you. When you family was sad, I was there to try and shine some optimism in their mind. When you're afraid to confront our problems, I was their to apologize just so we can get over our arguments. And when our relationship runs into a huge obstacle, I was there to understand it and find a way to over come it. But last night, you showed me that my effort was worthless to you. I know we're not together, officially, and I have no say in anything you do, but it wouldn't hurt to take into account what the other person says or do. I didn't like the fact that you took the liberty of offering my services without even consulting me first. And the fact that I tried to cook for that party, went there early to help out even when I didn't have to, it pissed me off when you said 'You're not gonna drink because I told kuya you're driving later when they get drunk. So we're gonna drink and you stay sober." Yeah, if you would have asked nicely, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But no, you just went ahead and planned my night for me without me knowing about it. Shitty move you made there. Next, when you go to a party with your so called "partner" it wouldn't hurt to tell me that you're gonna leave to go somewhere. I wasn't far from you for you not to be able to say anything. And the shitty part is, you were with him. I mean, I don't give a rats ass if you spend time with him or talk to him, but the fact that you undermined me, and left me hanging not knowing what you were doing, shitty move right there. And when I asked where you were, don't play around like a dumb little girl. Don't tell me secret when we both know who you were with. And when I confront you, don't even try to hide anything. kthanks. Another thing is that, when your friends are there, the way you treat me, it's like wow. Do you even know me? Why the hell are you so distant when your friends are there? And when he's there, why do you worry so much about getting to close to me? I mean we talked about this a million times. You wrote a post about this. But I see that those words were empty words again. Fancy words with no meaning. And the shitty part is, when you were left alone cooking, I took the time to stay with you and keep you company. I help you out so you can finish faster so we can enjoy the party together like a couple but what happened? When it came to the last part of the dish, I asked you to come with me and just keep me company while I cook, and you sit and mope in front of me as if you're bored as hell. Well, sorry for wanting to your company for a few minutes. Another thing is, don't ever, disrespect me in front of your boys. Don't ever undermine me in front of your friends. And don't you dare let your friend shove me on the side just so I don't see what you and him are doing. That's what pissed me off the most actually, when the shoved came along when all I wanted was to go tot he restroom and you and him were in line, one of your friends shoved me and stalled me so I don't see what you two are doing or hear what you two are talking about. And you know what sucks the most? Is that I always have to ask for your attention. When I see you sitting alone, I sit next to you, when you see me sitting by myself, you walk past me as if you don't notice me. By the way, thanks for taking care of me last night. I mean, I was driving you guys home, and you knew I drank, but you couldn't help me sober up while you offered everyone water so they can sober up? I mean, if I didn't ask you if I can get some of your water, you wouldn't offer it to me. I don't care if your mad at me. But when your life depends on my ability to drive you home, try to show that you care how I feel when I start to drive. Your life was on my hands,I risked getting a DIU by driving drunk. I did that because I know that I was in a better state than your brother's friend. I'm doing so much for you. All I ask is that you do the same. I'm not weighing the efforts we both put in in this relationship, but honestly, I can't help but wonder if you're even trying. All i want is that you follow through with your words. Don't change your attitude towards me when your friends are there. Because if that's the case, I'd rather not go out with you and your friends. I'd rather just hangout with you if that's the only time you're ever gonna be close to me. You're so freaking distant when your friends are around. It's like, one moment we're inseparable, the next moment you're so distant as if we're strangers. Don't be a two-face. Our relationship isn't a secret. Everyone knows. So for the love of God, stop pretending you're not sweet when your friends are around.

So, with all this being said, I just want to add that I'm tired. I'm tired of always the one trying to fix things, always the one putting the effort to solve our problems. I'm tired of finding ways to make this relationship stronger and last longer. So, I'm telling you here, now, do something. Show me that change your so insecure to express. I hope you find a way to get out of your comfort zone and try to fix this. I'll meet you half way when you actually try. If you leave this alone, then I'm right. I wasted my time. But the experiences and memories were wonderful. No regrets. So, I hope you find the courage to fix this. It'd be such a waste to let it all end here.

"Nobody ever said it would be easy, they just promised it'll be worth it."

"Just show me you're trying and you appreciate everything, and I'm all yours."

With ever word,